For the first time since starting this daily blog, I forgot to post a post today.

So I will tell you about my day.

My Sister-I-Love - Kristi - had bad abdominal pains last night, and has been in the hospital since. We went to see Kristi at lunch time. I wanted to do something, anything, to make her well. I could not.

A favorite patient passed away over the weekend, and I found out today. He was a four month old puppy. He looked like my parents' pup Felix. He was so sweet.

I euthanized a scared dog with end stage cancer. She kissed my hand the whole time.

A friend has depression at least as severe as mine. In over a year, I have never picked up on it.

I saw the biggest eight week old puppy I have ever seen. He is larger than most of my full grown patients. His parents let me take him to the treatment room and just hold him for a while.

My oldest had a terrible anxiety-ridden day. All day I tried to fix her day while living mine. I did not.

I spent the day with some of my favorite people. We listed our favorite Thanksgiving foods on the white board next to the treatment plan of the dog who could not - would not - eat because he was too painful.

He went home and ate.

I am home.

Our home smells like the candles Abby and I bought yesterday and the roast Russ is making. Amanda is resting. I too will rest.

If the euthanasia prior to this is any indication, my eyes should be done crying within a day.

I have my family (you). I have my friends (you). On my luckiest days, I have sisters-I-love to care for, dogs to fall so deeply and irreversibly in love with I can't find my way out, friends and family and patients and clients I can walk through tough stuff with, patients who improve, patients I can help, and a ridiculously giant puppy patient to hold.

I will take it.

What choice do I have? Had I a choice, I would take it still.

Post from one year ago today...

November 7, 2015