Before the road trip for Russ's birthday, I was running on empty. I was putting all of my energy into caring for patients, which usually comes a little more naturally, or at least more easily. I was sleeping all of the time I was at home. Depression and physical exhaustion were doing their damnedest to smash me, and I ran to the point of using sheer will power to function. And I did it. I made it to the last hour of the last work day before our trip with the last of what I had left.
I let Dr. Bashara know I would not have my phone on, but he could get ahold of me on Russ's phone if he needed anything. I let our parents know. Between the five of them, they could get word to friends and family if need be.
I tossed my phone into my nightstand with a exhausted, relieved sigh. I turned it back on Monday morning.
Other than Mom and Dad's puppies eating Mom's medication (!!!), no one needed me all weekend, and all went well. Mom knew she could reach me if she needed (You still could have called me Mom!), but she called VCA Midwest Veterinary Referral and Emergency Center, and they walked her through making sure the puppies were safe. (Thank you Midwest. I cannot tell you how much of postponing - and hopefully avoiding - burnout is because you are there when I cannot be. I am forever grateful.) The puppies did not get sick.
I rested with Russ, Amanda and Abby and the dogs all weekend and recovered.
During the three day weekend my phone was in my nightstand and I was in Kansas City, I received twenty six texts plus calls and emails requesting immediate responses to work related things. I turned my phone back on on the way to work Monday morning. (I pulled over and stopped first!)
Sometimes you guys, I just need to walk away. As much as I love my teammates, our clients and their pets, my profession and my job...when I am off, I need that time. Not always. Sometimes though. If I don't answer right away, keep calling, but if there is anyone else at work or in your circle who can help you, please let them.
I get that this is not a career I can disappear from. Pets are not sick 9-5 weekdays. (Just kidding! I mean not 7:30-6 or 7 weekdays and 7:30-1 Saturdays!) Still, we have an amazing veterinary community at Gentle Doctor and in Omaha at large whose whole (on the clock) goal is to protect the health and well being of our pets.
You can call. Always call. Always call any time. But please be patient with me and forgive me if sometimes I am not there. I promise to always return, and when I am present, I promise to be present 100%.
Post from one year ago today...
May 10, 2016